The manner of speaking too quickly.
These people are very nervous, restless, and maybe even irritable. Research has shown that they tend to lack self-confidence and suffer from low self-esteem. That is why they subconsciously tend to rush and try to express everything that they have accumulated faster. This is mainly due to the fact that they believe that people are not interested in what they have to say. And if they had more self-respect, they would pause and others would better understand the meaning of what they communicated. "Gabrators" can also be Type A in nature, that is, they are assertive and ambitious people who usually speak quickly and aggressively.
Talking too fast is one of the eight most annoying speech habits; Over 65 percent of respondents in a Gallup poll felt very uncomfortable around people who spoke too quickly. And according to psychologists Dr. Matthew McKay and Dr. Martha David from the University of California at San Francisco, such people usually make others feel anxious.
Many people who talk too quickly were brought up in large families. In this they are similar to those who speak too loudly and who also needed to shout down their brothers and sisters. People who speak quickly try to get everything out before they are interrupted.
Research has also shown that people speak faster when they are angry. High competition between people in large families and large cities may lead to the fact that they are more likely to experience stress and irritation, and this affects the speed of their speech.
It's not about what you say, but how. Ask someone kindly to do something for you, and they will usually do it. But if you show in your tone a certain, quite specific attitude towards a person, you will almost certainly make him rebel and cause a verbal altercation or, even worse, a fight. As the Bible says, “all the power of the word is in the tongue.” But the power of words lies in the tone in which a person speaks.
Irritation is usually felt in the voice of people who are looking for a reason to quarrel, are ready for a fight and are running into trouble. Always ready to point the finger at someone else, they always feel like victims who are wronged by everyone, and are looking for someone else to blame.
People with harsh voice intonations often try to provoke others. With their tone, they seem to be telling them: “Well, wait a minute! Just touch me and I’ll show you!” or “Just say something I don’t like, and I’ll stamp you so hard that you won’t even say a word!” Such a tone usually causes people to respond with indignation, because they feel that they are being attacked without any reason. Because this tone can also be whiny, you may also get the impression that these people are tired of you.
In some segments of society, a similar manner of speech is used to express a certain mood, a bad mood. Such people constantly challenge others with their tone and often get into arguments with them. If someone disagrees with them, they are always sure that he is wrong. In essence, with their tone they want to say: “Never try to argue with me - I know everything better than anyone! And everything will be as I said, or it won’t be at all!”
These people are constantly ready to open verbal fire on someone. Once they get angry, they instantly turn into fire-breathing dragons and burn everyone and everything in their path with the flames spewed from their mouths. The main thing that can be advised to those who have to deal with such people is to stay away from them unless you want to hear something that could very well give you third degree burns.
I’m sure you’ve more than once encountered the fact that your own voice in a recording seems alien, squeaky, shrill, rough and not at all as melodic as we are used to hearing it in our heads.
The good news is that you are not alone. We're all annoyed by the sound of our own voice on recordings, and there's nothing you can do about it. Another question is, why is this happening and how does the rest of the world actually hear us?
We tried to understand this issue and prepared an article where, in simple and understandable language, we will explain to you what happens to the sound of your voice when you hear it from external sources, and not within yourself.
How we perceive sounds
Let's start with a short excursion into anatomy. Our ear consists of three main parts: the outer, middle and inner ear.
The outer ear is on the outside of our head and we can see it. It opens the ear canal, and the eardrum separates this canal from the middle ear.
The middle ear includes three bones, which are the main conductors of sound. They amplify and transmit sound to the inner ear.
The inner ear is the last stop on the way to the brain. It contains the cochlea, which converts sound into a neurological signal and transmits it through the auditory nerve to the brain.
Any sound we perceive is a series of vibrations. The vibration passes through the three bones of the middle ear and is transmitted to the cochlea.
What do you hear when you speak
First of all, you need to understand that sound is a series of vibrations. This vibration passes through the bones of the middle ear and reaches the cochlea, after which it enters the brain in the form of a neurological signal.
There are two different ways vibrations can reach our ears:
By air. This is how we perceive external noise: music, outside speech and the sound of our own voice in a recording.
Through the bones. This is how we perceive internal noise, such as the vibration of our vocal cords.
It turns out that you hear your own voice as a mixture of sounds transmitted through the air and through the bones. Only you and no one else can hear this cacophony.
What happens when you hear a recording of your voice?
In this case, the sounds transmitted through the bones do not reach you, and you only receive the sound transmitted through the air. That is, some of the sounds are lost, and the output you get is an unfamiliar sound.
Why does your own voice annoy you?
This is where your brain plays a cruel joke on you. The fact is that in your head the inner voice can sound the way you want it to. You may even think that your voice is similar to the voice of Andrei Malakhov or Vera Brezhneva. The irony is that you are the only person who can hear your voice this way.
In reality, your true voice may be lower and squeaky - in general, not at all the way you are used to hearing it inside yourself. And this difference annoys you. Therefore, I immediately want to apologize for the unpleasant truth, but the voice that you hear in the recording is how the rest of the world hears you.
And if it brings you any consolation, I want to say that we are all sailing in the same boat. None of us like the sound of our own voice on tape, and we can't escape it.
Hello!
I'm afraid of screams.
As well as other loud sounds of “human” origin.
Including: cacophonous music of high decibels, shouting into the telephone receiver, indecently loud conversations of acquaintances and strangers around me (in different public places and situations), demonstrative behavior in this sense, etc.
I see this as a violation of the boundaries of my personal space.
When someone next to me starts talking loudly or shouting, my insides clench, I can’t concentrate on my thoughts and deeds, I become nervous, excited, and anxious. In this state, it is difficult for me to formulate my thoughts and statements (it works, but with additional stress).
If the volume is directed at me as aggression, I also feel angry at this person (although before that he did not evoke negative feelings, and in general did not evoke any special feelings). Everything is shaking inside, and this is disturbing. If someone deliberately “bumps” you, then from the excitement caused by the volume, I get lost and cannot immediately respond adequately, which is why I get very worried later.
If it’s not directed at me, but just two people, for example, quarreling within earshot, then I’m still very worried, to the point of trembling.
If, for example, at night drunk teenagers or their parents are hanging out and screaming under the balcony, then I can’t calm down and fall asleep for a long time (although I used to pay much less attention to such sounds).
Also, I was less worried about loud conversations (for example, in transport, queues, at work, etc.)
I shudder when a car drives by with “thumping” music, I want to throw a brick with precision.
A loud interlocutor in a telephone conversation causes rage, and if it’s on my phone, then it also makes me feel like my head is being drilled.
Children playing noisily nearby, their sonorous voices too.
What worries me is that I have begun to react much more strongly than before (for example, 5-7 years ago). I physically feel at such moments how a surge of adrenaline into the blood grows inside. I have always had a penchant for a quiet life, I always did not like quarrels, scandals, the manners of poorly educated people, unreasonable decibels, but somehow I tolerated all this and noise more easily. For example, as a student I sometimes went to a disco and got tired of the noise there, but it was purely physical fatigue, not psychological. Or the need to raise my voice didn’t tire me as much as it does now. I coped well with many psychological difficulties before, and I can now. Except for the screams.
In the end, I realized that it was the unpleasant sensations from screaming that greatly reduced the quality of my life. As soon as I calm down, there are all sorts of screams all around again. I am looking for options to solve the problem. I am 33 years old, military specialist, specialist. By the way, 5-7 years ago there were no events that were traumatic due to loudness.
Every person has probably noticed that someone’s voice is pleasant to him, someone’s is indifferent, and someone even said only one word, but already caused irritation and hostility. And there are such skillful speakers who only need to utter a few words to bewitch every person who hears them.
Voice is one of the few identifying characteristics that distinguishes each person from everyone else. By their voice, we can unmistakably recognize a friend, even without seeing him. It is interesting that even in some modern banks it is the voice that is a kind of key to the safe.
As scientists and psychologists found out during joint research, the impression that he makes on others depends on how correctly a person chooses the timbre and frequency of his voice.
If we talk about a voice that is too high-pitched, then such a voice most often irritates people, since it belongs to a person who is young and unbalanced, inexperienced and hysterical. Such people, as a rule, occupy low positions and do not inspire confidence in their interlocutors. Probably, many men have noticed that older women, if they want to appear younger, try to change the timbre of their voice, making it more sonorous. This behavior very often infuriates the interlocutor.
People who have a low timbre of voice inspire much more trust; they exude reliability and experience, as well as sexuality when it comes to the opposite sex. That is why if a man has a deep, pleasant voice, he is popular with women.
Why do people change their intonation while speaking?
First of all, it should be noted that by the intonation of the voice you can understand how the interlocutors relate to each other. If a person lowers the timbre of his voice, this indicates sympathy for the person, a desire to convince him that he is right. If the interlocutor doubts your words, you can hear questioning notes in his voice.
To convince an opponent who does not want to agree with your opinion, it is advisable to make your voice soft and calm. If the timbre of the voice rises and turns into a “squeal”, this means that the person is irritated and unsure of himself.
It is especially important to be able to control your own voice if a person works with people, conducts negotiations and interviews. Experienced psychologists will be able to teach this technique so that, if desired, a person can influence his interlocutor or not allow him to influence himself.
What does a person's speech style say?
If the interlocutor is irresponsible and indecisive, this is immediately noticeable from his words - he constantly uses interjections and makes various pauses between words.
If a person tries to escape from problems and troubles, he often says various phrases using the particle “not.” However, the further, the more such people are haunted by negativity.
The right words inspire action
Who would have thought, but words must be used very wisely, because if you use them incorrectly, you risk causing negativity in a person and turning him against you. If the words are chosen correctly and the speech is delivered beautifully, taking into account intonation and timbre, you will be able to get the desired answer or decision from the person.
What words cause negativity?
When talking to a person, try not to use words and phrases such as: never, usually, you shouldn’t, I can’t, you don’t need, you shouldn’t and similar expressions. You want to end a conversation in which such words are present as quickly as possible; it is unlikely that the interlocutor will want to communicate with you for a long time, much less seek a compromise.
If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation and want to avoid questions from your interlocutor, try to confuse him. To do this, it is necessary to use clarifying words and specific verbs. For example: “Do you remember, a few months ago, when we went to the cinema, we saw a friend with whom I sat at the same desk at school, and then studied together at the institute. So, he gave my friend a beautiful bouquet of roses for her birthday, which we celebrated at her dacha.” Having heard such exhaustive explanations, the interlocutor will become tired, confused, and most likely want to end the conversation.
If you want your interlocutor to be interested in your conversation, it is better to use passive voice in sentences. You can speak in short phrases that will intrigue your interlocutor. If you tell a person “I’m upset,” he will probably ask “Why?”
For the dialogue to be successful, you must ask the person for his opinion, force him to participate in your problem. Speak in such a way that the interlocutor has to ask you clarifying questions. Thus, he will be imbued with the problem and feel involved in your life.
